Sluyty confession: I met this man on the train when I was 14 (he was 22) and soooo sexy I told him I was 17 and when we eventually got off he took me to subway to get food and talk and the next thing I knew we were having sex in the bathroom

everything-fuckable:

Subway is a way to a woman’s heart. He is one smooth man and a keeper.

mrsdwight:

adkkk:

infosix:

adkkk:

guesswhatbatman:

Imagine if you could lose weight without getting off tumblr and every mile you scrolled on your dash was the equivalent of running one mile

I’d be like

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It actually is possible, my friend was telling me about this organic extract that increases metabolism so you can literally lose weight without getting off tumblr

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#THANK YOU SCIENCE SIDE OF TUMBLR

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deepwithinthedeadliestdarkness:

equalistsfuckshitup:

story time when i was 16 my mom and i were watching ellen and my mom says 

‘oh look my favorite lesbian!’

and i said ‘i thought i was your favorite lesbian?’

and she just stared at me for a moment and said 

‘oh ok. ‘

and we just continued watching 

and thats how i came out to my mother

Fucking A Star.

ohmorninglovely:

and whale jizz.

ohmorninglovely:

and whale jizz.

lizawithazed:

sometimes you see a pun so artfully constructed you just have to stand back in awe.

lizawithazed:

sometimes you see a pun so artfully constructed you just have to stand back in awe.

clcok:

maybe

clcok:

maybe